“LOST” Reviews, Episodes 1 and 2

Season Five of LOST came after 9 months of being off the air. I had a whole lot of anticipation and when Jan 21’s season premiere came, I was stupid excited.

So, because I know you all want to know, here’s what I think (in recaps):

Episode 1: “Because You Left”
Rating: 6/10
So, the Oceanic 6 left the island. John Locke had told them not to. They left. The Island “moved”. Season 4 showed the Oceanic 6 going kinda nutty over the course of 3 years. Now, John’s dead and Ben tells Jack that they all “have to go back” to the island with John’s dead body. Ok, here we go:

This episode opens on Marvin Candle way back when. Music playing during montage like they’ve done too many times already (Desmond, Juliet, etc). Shit goes down in the Orchid station and some guy gets hurt. They discovered the “frozen donkey wheel”. Marvin goes off on a way-too-convenient diatribe to some random cave worker: “This energy is going to allow us to manipulate time!” Oh, and then Daniel Faraday is there for the WTF opening.

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Ok, now it goes back to Jack and Ben with dead-John. “You gotta go back”. Then jump to island to show WTF happened to everyone left behind once the island “moved”. Blinding white light in sky and loud shriek. Boom. They travel through time. Backwards and forwards. The camp is gone “cuz it hasn’t been built yet”. Sawyer and Juliet are all confused while Faraday seems to know what’s happening. Kate is visited by lawyers who want to take baby Aaron away. She gets the hell out of dodge. Jack and Ben need to round up Hurley, Sayid, Kate, Aaron, and Sun.

Back on the island, Locke sees Mr Eko’s brother’s plane crash. Ok, that was cool and nostalgic. Then he gets shot by Ethan. John stops him and says, “My name is John Locke”. And here’s where the plot doesn’t make sense.

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If John had told Ethan in the past, “My name is John Locke”, then they meet again in the future (or when Ethan gets the flight manifest), wouldn’t Ethan have been all, “Holy shit, you’re that guy I shot when the Nigerian plane crashed n stuff”?

But then the white flash comes and John travels through time again. Richard comes out and mends John’s wound and give him the compass that we saw in Season 3 when John was a kid. Another white flash. And then I got really annoyed.

The white flashes have now been set up to happen randomly maybe 5-6 times an episode. Everyone is stuck in a constant time warp. That’s supposed to be the conflict. But, actually, they’re all stuck in convenient plot device. The writers of the show needed to figure out a way to tie all the loose ends together from the previous 4 seasons. And what better way then to literally jump back and forth putting all the pieces together?

Charlotte’s nose starts bleeding (like those on the ship and Desmond before he found his constant).

Faraday knocks on the hatch door back-in-time and back-in-time Desmond comes to the door with a gun and is all “WTF?” Faraday tells him that, in the future, he needs to go find his mother at Oxford and her name is… Boom. White flash. Desmond wakes up in the future with a new “memory” that wasn’t there before. Uhhhhh… Ok. Maybe that’s cool.

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Basically, this was an underwhelming premiere with the introduction of an annoying plot device and with a below-average script (Candle’s dialogue, Faraday’s science talk, etc). The Sayid action scene kicked ass. Kate is ONLY good when given the right script and this wasn’t it. Evageline Lilly just can’t pull off what her character entails. So, she comes off as annoying and filler. But, they aired episode 2 right after this so I wasn’t giving up on it yet.

Episode 2: “The Lie”
Rating: 6/10

This ep opens 3 years before with the Oceanic 6 talking about how they all need to lie to protect those they left behind. Jack’s the leader and makes everyone promise. And I could care less. They’re reasoning for lying has never seemed crucial or pertinent. I never felt like Sawyer or Locke would be in danger if Jack said, “Hey, there’s this island and crazy stuff happens there”. But now the whole show’s momentum is built around this. Personally, I think it would have been better if Oceanic Airlines or Abbadon or Dharma or Hanso threatened to kill them if they talked. THAT would have been much more believable. And more pressing. But whatever. They lie.

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Three years later, Hurley is rushing Sayid in his car cuz he got knocked out by a poison dart. He’s stopped by Ana Lucia who’s dead. She tell him “not to get arrested”, an obvious rip on Michelle Rodriguez’s DUI arrest that led to her leaving the show. Remember Jack in season 2 asking Ana Lucia, “How long would it take to train an army?”. Well, THAT never went anywhere. But it would have kicked ass if it had. Thanks, Michelle Rodriguez. Oh, and then she tells Hurley, “Libby says ‘Hi'”. Lame. Mega weak.

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Back on island, Sawyer and Co. are trying to make a fire with a “red shirt”. Bernard and Rose are there! WTF? I used to care about them in season 2. Now? Not so much. Sawyer doesn’t interrogate Faraday for being gone for an hour which seemed out of character.

Hurley’s still trying to save Sayid. Gas station tells Hurley, “You’re lying”. But she means, “Hey you’re that lottery guy”. This was a wasted moment. Remember that scene in “Quiz Show” when the FBI agent tells Ralph Fiennes, “I know you’re lying” while playing poker? That moment was brilliant. The scene with Hurley was supposed to accomplish the same thing and it didn’t.

And then a great Lost scene. Ben and Jack in hotel. Ben tells Jack to pack a suitcase and put everything he’d ever want in this life in there “because you’re never coming back”. Jack says, “Good”. Great scene.

Hurley takes Sayid to his parent’s house (technically his). Goofy Hurley stuff with his dad which I’ve never been crazy about. Police are looking for Hurley.

Kate goes to visit Sun.

Ben delivers Locke’s dead body to a butcher shop with creepy people who seem to know Ben well.

Back on island, Bernard fails with making fire. Charlotte can’t remember he mother’s maiden name. Weird. I like Charlotte. Red shirt guy gets hit in chest with flaming arrow. The whole group is attacked by flaming arrows. They run.

Hurley and parents. They need to smuggle Sayid out to Jack. His dad does it.

Kate and Sun scene. Starts out ok and then gets into great scene with Sun subtly ripping Kate for leaving Jin behind to die. “What kind of person do you think I am?” Good scene.

Hurley’s dad drops Sayid off to Jack. “Stay away from my son!” Jack all “Uhhh…ok”. Jack calls Ben, “I got Sayid!”

Hurley tells mom the truth about the island which sounds ridiculous when summed up in 60 seconds. His mom believes him. This was an OK scene.

Back on island, Sawyer and Juliet get captured.

Jack revives Sayid. They talk. Ben goes to get Hurley and Hurley runs out to the police and let them arrest him rather than go with Ben who he thinks is evil.

Juliet is about to get her hand cut off with a machete and then Locke knifes everyone from behind like friggin Rambo. Classic John Locke. Good stuff.

Ok, and then down in big, dark room with giant pendulum and computers and science stuff (see the graphics in my blog heading). Maps and arrows with latitudes and longitudes. Obviously trying to find the island. Ben enters. It looks like a church. A lady in a robe turns out to be the white haired woman from “Flashes Before Your Eyes” in Season 3 who told Desmond his destiny was to go to the island. Ben says, “I couldn’t get everyone”. She says, “Well you need to and you have 70 hours.”

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All in all, only 3 great scenes in this episode with a lot of annoying filler and goofiness in between.

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